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OUT ABOUT HIV
(Bradford's Message)
Given at the
20th Annual International AIDS Candlelight
Vigil
May 25th 2003, Vancouver, BC, Canada.
(Espaņol)
My name is Bradford
McIntyre Positively
Positive! I have been living, infected with the HIV since 1984!
I feel very fortunate sharing in this 20th Anniversary,
with you!
There is more power in people knowing I am HIV positive,
than there ever was in the fear and hiding. The answers are in
letting go of fear! Society has created a huge closet housing
many shelves. Shelves for Gay, BI sexual, Lesbian and transgendered,
but even more shelves housing drug abuse, alcohol abuse, sexual
abuse, physical and mental abuse, bulimia, anorexia, cancer, AIDS,
dis-ease and disease. It is time for us all to come out of the
closet and tell people what is going on in our life. Then and
only then can people know what is going on, support you, and if
need be, offer help! We don’t have to go through life alone,
there are people who will Show Up if we let them know who we are
and what is going on in our life! Instead of deciding what others
can handle or know, it is time to come out of the closet and truly
reveal everything about ourselves. Then and only then can we be
our true selves!
So much fear has been created around HIV infection,
and AIDS. The camouflage uniforms worn in the army, disguise and
hide, so not to draw attention, able to blend in. The fear associated
with HIV and AIDS, has kept us in the dark! Many have feared loosing
their family, friends, home and job, causing people to hide the
fact they have been infected with HIV. So no one can see, hear,
or know the truths of those living with HIV. Most often when individuals
die from HIV related illness or AIDS, the funeral announcements
rarely say AIDS was the cause, but use cancer, heart disease or
any other camouflage. How can we tell the real number of HIV related
deaths? How can the public know without the truth? We are in the
dark because the whole picture is not being told! Individuals
dealing with HIV and all those around them who are affected but
not infected, they know these truths!
What we don't see are the great numbers of individuals
infected living, living a happy and full life, whether it is with
or without drug treatments! We don't see or hear about the countless
individuals who have been infected, who are not using HIV drug
intervention! We also miss seeing and hearing about individuals
engaged in drug treatments, who go off their medications for months
and even years! I myself, lived for 13 years without HIV/AIDS
medications, I then took medication for five years. Now, once
again I am drug free!
We don't see or hear about individuals infected
with HIV, who have never had any immune suppression and have never
had any HIV replicated in their bodies! We don't see all the people
who were in wheel chairs due to neuropathy, wasting or other complications,
who recover and return to wellness! We don't see or hear about
HIV infected mothers who gave birth, and now their children are
grown and they are having children! And we don't see it because
the fear has people afraid to talk about HIV and AIDS or disclose
they have been infected. We don't have people coming forward to
tell their side of HIV and AIDS. How are we going to get people
to come forward when the stigma attached to HIV and AIDS has created
so much fear?
People are hiding their HIV infection, yet it makes
no sense to believe that everyone who is infected will get sick!
This is likened to the early days of cancer, hiding the fact,
only whispering the C word! Everyone who develops cancer does
not die; it makes no sense to believe everyone who is infected
with HIV will get sick or die, either! We don't see people who
benefit from the drugs and have their health restored, many returning
to the work force! We don't see or hear about individuals who
test positive for HIV or have AIDS, in relationships, falling
in love! We don't see the many relationships where one partner
is infected and one is not, and the partner who is negative, is
not infected!
Even though it has been over 20 years since the
emergence of the AIDS virus, there still exists today fear and
discrimination for those infected. Even with the progress and
success in treatments, and fewer deaths, people are still afraid
to tell others that they have been infected! The fear and hiding
continues because most people are not willing to come forward
and have their voice heard. Fortunately there are people who are
NOT afraid to talk about the fact they have been infected, who
are working to create awareness and education in the many issues
surrounding HIV/AIDS.
We didn't understand the AIDS virus and panic occurred.
But, we have moved from a place of confusion and little understanding,
to a place where we now have a much broader understanding. Now,
we can eliminate the fear and promote a new awareness, relying
on education and a wide variety of treatment options. With choice
there is Hope!
With proper awareness and education, we can go about
living our lives responsibly, "showing up for life", without fear!
Not afraid to tell people we are living with HIV and talking about
HIV, or conversations about safe sex. Letting go of the fear,
we can all talk to our family and friends, and co-workers we discuss
our personal lives with. Our employer can know health related
information. And, if need be, we can ask for help and receive
help! We can also eliminate false perceptions and judgments that
were created from not having the right information, and prevent
the spread of AIDS.
These years spent cohabiting with HIV have taught
me a great deal! I learned about my spirit, my mind, and body.
I searched for and learned about alternative and complimentary
therapies and incorporated them into my life. I chose a healthy
lifestyle, and worked at being responsible for how I think and
feel, and what I put into my body. I exercised my mind and spirit,
and my physical body. I learned the power of faith and prayer
in healing, our own as well as the faith and prayers of those
who care and Love us. And I will say it again; I learned there
is more power in people knowing the Truth, than there ever is
in fear and hiding. I learned the abundance of life does not come
from what one provides for oneself, but it is found in our connectedness.
I would not be where I am today if it were not for all the support
and Love from the many people in my life!
I would like you to take a moment and look around,
see each other, see that we are all connected! Whether YOU are
affected by, or infected with HIV, we must cross those boundaries
of Fear and Discrimination. To join OUR Hearts, in the realization
we are all here to LOVE one another. I join with you, that we
create a shift in thinking around HIV and AIDS, and ALL Disease.
I am Positively Positive!
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