Positively Positive
- Living with HIV
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Positively Positive, Living with HIV

Introduction: Positively Positive - Living with HIV

POSITIVELY POSITIVE - A Spiritual Journey from Fear to Love


    On November 28th 1985, I was told by my doctor to inform my family, arrange my finances and funeral. I had six months to live!
After four years of living in fear, my life took a dramatic turn and I embarked on a spiritual journey from fear to Love! Healing does not necessarily mean cure of disease, but healing our mind and transforming our body to realize its full potential, joy and purpose! Learning about the influence that our thoughts have on our life and health; from breakdown to breakthrough! Living today as healthy and as fully as you can, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually! The Abundance of Life does not come from what one can provide for oneself, but it is provided in our connectedness. I Show UP For Life!

    We don't usually look at AIDS-or any life threatening illness-as an opportunity. But, without diminishing the seriousness of the disease or sentimentalizing its impact, it can be, a wake up call.

    Our judgments and those we place on others, contribute to our DIS-EASE and disease. It also plays a role in how we judge and treat disease. Showing up exactly who we are and not hiding any aspect of ourselves, will contribute to the ease with which we live. Defining ourselves and differences especially around illness and disease allows victimizing and undermining self-esteem and health.

    Myself and others realize the importance in helping and educating others so we can create a shift in perception. Many people in society today have gone into the closet, and there are many shelves housing sexuality, alcohol, drug abuse, physical abuse, dis-ease and disease, mental, emotional, physical and spiritual, to name a few. We are withdrawing and hiding ourselves from everyone, and including, ourselves. This is all a part of who we are and what is going on in our lives. We need to bring these things out of the closet, away from Fear. There is more POWER in people knowing the TRUTH, than there is in hiding. My life has been so changed, going from fear; to removing the blocks that kept me from being my true self and living a full and healthy LIFE.

    We can all heal, but it has to be as a whole we recognize the importance to show ourselves! Accept one and all; for we are all here together, connected. Nothing is happening to one of us, but affecting all of us! I used to believe that I couldn't make a difference, but I have since learned and seen that we all can! Love is the WAY!

    Whether YOU are affected by, or infected with HIV/AIDS, we must cross the boundaries of Fear and Discrimination. To join OUR Hearts and OUR Hands, in the realization we are ALL here to LOVE one another. I join with you, so we create a shift in thinking around HIV/AIDS, and ALL Disease!

    The one thing that I can say about living with HIV and the illness, because it was a constant death threat, is that life was the most important thing to me; every experience that I had and every person that I was with. Because I had what I thought was a shadow hanging over me, I might never have that experience or ever be with that person again. This actually enriched my experience with everyone, and everywhere I went and everything I did. I learned to have such a wonderful appreciation for each and every moment that we have.

    HIV has been my biggest teacher, a gift that taught me the importance of being ALIVE. Taking responsibility for me, Positively Positive, is insurance to maintain health, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. My life is not about Death and Dying, but about living moment to moment, in the NOW! My life is filled with Abundance, Peace and Love.

    I will continue to project out to the Universe, with the hope others will hear and contribute to the many MIRACLES we have yet to create for ourselves.

    I would like to thank everyone who has contributed to my WELLNESS, and what is NOW my Life!

    Everything you teach you are learning. Teach only LOVE, and learn that LOVE is yours and you are LOVE. - A Course in Miracles

    The knowing that we are ALL connected is life's purpose! Life means less otherwise.

Welcome to Positively Positive, I'm happy to have connected!

I invite you to explore!

POSITIVELY POSITIVE - A Spiritual Journey from Fear to Love

he heart being the central point of spirit feeling in our physical bodies, this center, the heart, is spirit feeling. That spirit is Love. When we are free, we are living fully in spirit. In this physical body we are experiencing spirit having a human experience. Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace and Abundance! Outside of this body this is our experience in totality, infinitely, all that is! Being spirit in this physical body we have the opportunity of a lifetime to experience what could not be realized, known, without this human experience of physical feelings available.

     Being Love and touching, being Joy and bringing it to all you see and touch, is Love in physical form. Peace beyond any of man, women or child's descriptions of peace. At best, to be at peace means to be a peace keeper of Love on the planet and throughout the Universe. Bringing with it Abundance beyond our widest dreams; each moment in this physical body knowing the Truth of who you are, and will always be!

    Who we ARE is Love. In the physical body we have feelings and translate these feelings though the mind and associate these feelings with emotions. An experience we would not have, if not in this human experience. The mind and the heart center, radiate the spirit consciousness. When we feel on an emotional level, this is the heart opening. Mind and spirit! The mechanisms of the mind are recognizing and remembering spirit. The physical body allows for feelings not of spirit but of body. In this body we have consciousness, consciousness of spirit, and that we are Love. We have this on a cellular level. The mind has created recognition of spirit. The heart center and emotions are spirit expressing. Opening up! When we feel, we feel from spirit. From Love! The physical allows the feeling of being filled with Love. Reminding us, who we are. It is important to understand when your heart opens to love, to caring, to recognize you are feeling the Truth of who you are.

    Love IS. Spirit IS. Always will be! When in this physical body or not, spirit exists always, in each and every moment, and eternity. This is our joined opportunity to express spirit in human form. It is in this human form we can recognize we All are spirit! We all intuitively, instinctually, spiritually, know this of ourselves. And we can recognize we are All here together. It has been said many times, there is only one of us here!

    To recognize we are spirit, is to realize we are ALL here together, connected. The abundance of life does not come from what one can provide for ones self, but it is provided in our connectedness. ( Connectedness: this word is not by me, but of me ). A single individual cannot provide everything, providing for every need, want and desire. For there is a reality that exists unto itself; one where everything we need, want and desire is here! It always was and shall always be.

    Our needs, wants and desires are to be LOVED. We are LOVE, alone this would be pointless. Together, experiencing Love and Loving; we nurture our spirit and the spirit in each other. The oneness, united, loving, caring for all. Somewhere along our physical path, we may have forgotten who we are and why we are here. To learn and grow, is to have the opportunity; this Gift, given a physical body to house our spirit, physically being born of LOVE. To learn and grow with physical expression of spirit; is for a time.

     My time is endless. Yours and mine will always be for eternity. You see, we All are forever together. A whole, not a part, but one! Loving and caring for one another and all! It is when we see ourselves as separate we lack Love, Joy, Peace and Abundance. Alone there is no purpose. Alone we struggle endlessly yearning for all things. Of Love, life brings the richness to our experience. Our God given gift is one which resides within us and all around us. The Gift of understanding who we are, we are then able to share this gift with one another.

     From lack, from lack of Love, we have experienced the aloneness, and on a mental and emotional level created in our mind an expression of thought. Alone we created Fear. Together in Love there is nothing to fear, only Love. There is caring; we are taken care of, loved and never alone. How can anyone feel lack of Love when they know all hold you in their hearts?

    The lack of Love we feel on this planet is based and created from separation and fear. This to, has given learning and understanding to this human experience. We can choose! Our Gift is one of choice! To recognize we are spirit having a human experience and be all that we are and can be in this experience! We can choose Love, or we can choose a mindful thought like fear. Lack of Love will fill a fearful thought. Love will erase the fear.

    Our separation is created in mindful thought not of Love. Where there is lack of anything, these thought forms develop. What is not of the spirit is of the mind. It is in our mind we have created fear.

     Life is not of separateness, but of togetherness. Life is not about lack, but of Love. If separation or judgment be made at all, there is only one consideration. Has an individual received Love, or Lack of Love?

     I want to be part of giving where there is lack. Providing Love, rather than more lack; replacing ones lack and fear, with Love. For us to move ever forward in our experience we will move away from fear and separation.

     It is my part, connected to the whole, I give myself to LOVE. United in Love, we all move ever forward in it!

    From the time we are born, all we are doing is eating and sleeping, who we Are is Love! Our experiences teach us, through our parents and environment around us! Labeling our feelings! These handed down from those around us and the messaging of our history, up bringing, environment and society. In our DNA there is a coding that plays a part in dictating aspects of our human experience. Mind, creating ego and personality! But, who we are is a spirit, and that spirit is LOVE. The remembering of this is complicated by the many levels of emotions we must work through where we may have suppressed our spirit. Constantly told how to feel, how to behave, what to think, what to do! Taking on worry, fear, guilt and anger! Time spent totally out of sink with the Loving spirit we are.

    When we recognize from the pain of those feelings not of Love, and the desire to connect with spirit, then can we move from fear to LOVE.

     by Bradford McIntyre, Positively Positive



    To all of you here on this journey called life ...Thank you for the lessons learned and the LOVE received. This site is dedicated to YOU! The Wonder of YOU, the Magnificence of YOU! You are a Divine Magnificent Expression of LIFE! Thank You for the riches of LIFE! You have brought us all closer to the Light of knowing LOVE is the way.

    Thank You to Hanna Lorie in Mexico whose screen door had a sticker across the middle beam dividing the screens...LOVE IS THE WAY! Hanna gave me a crystal and told me to focus on positive thoughts and use the crystal; planting thoughts as a reminder and affirmations of the power of those thoughts. From then on my thoughts turned to LOVE, Strength and Health.

    Thank You to Diahne, an extraordinary woman whom I had never known, who came to me specifically to tell me "I had suffered long enough, and hard enough, it was time to get on with my life"! Diahne was a catalyst in bringing to my consciousness; the meaning of LIFE! We are all here to LOVE one another! Diahne if you are out there, look where I went with the life force you instilled in me! I believe this was the start, the beginning of my new journey. The early beginnings of “ Showing Up For Life!

    Thank You to Beverly Blanchard a gracious friend who pointed out to me some of the many negative words in my vocabulary. Can't, can't this, can't that, should have, would have, could have and others. The beginnings, of understanding the power of the word; what we say and how it is manifested throughout our lives!

    Thank You to Marilyn Neudorf my counselor at AIDS Ottawa who taught me to ask for help and let others know I needed help. She gave me an exercise, homework, to in some way no matter how big or small, to ask for help! No one can do it alone!

    Thank You to Reiki Master and loving friend, Leah Smith, for teaching me I don't have to show up for my fear, “Life’s a Celebration you don't need an invitation to Celebrate, Celebrate Life"!

    Thank You to Rinaldo Connonico of Rinaldo - Hair Designers and Spa in Ottawa. The kindest, most generous and loving man I have ever known. Rinaldo would always say he was not my boss, but that we work together and we are friends. He took care of me in ways he didn't know; for those years before he knew I was infected with HIV. When I did tell Rinaldo I was living with HIV, I did not lose my employment, but instead, understood the power of LOVE! Thank you Rinaldo and Pat; for taking such good care of me!
Remembering Rinaldo Canonico, Ottawa's hairstylist to the stars

    Thank You to the North American Indians for watching over the sacred site of the Medicine Wheel atop Medicine Mountain in the Bighorn Mountains; a part of northern Wyoming's Big Horn Range in the United States. (The term "medicine wheel" was first applied to the Big Horn Medicine Wheel). It was there I stumbled or was guided to find my way to the top and offer up my disease while meditating at the wheel. I am grateful to the Indian guide for telling me about the wheel and for his acknowledgment and handshake when he said “Thank You for using the wheel”! The tears washed down my face as I walked down the mountain and my body was cleansed of scars, pain and disease mentally, emotionally, physically. I am forever with GOD.

“Eventually one gets to the Medicine Wheel to fulfill one’s life.”
Old Mouse, Arikara leader

    Thank You to the people of Vancouver for your warm reception and friendship when first visiting and since! It was at a lookout on the Burrard Street Bridge, just days before having to return to Ottawa; I had a vision. While gazing out at the mountains, boats and tankers in the sea, the sky line, the majesty of it all, I thought to come out about my HIV infection when I returned to Ottawa. It was then, in 1994, I was free to be OUT ABOUT HIV! This in turn, brought me back to live in the Vancouver I love. Thank you for your support for my return, you made it so.

     Thank You to Michelle Valberg a photographer whose vision it was to make “LOOK BEYOND: The Faces and Stories of People living with HIV/AIDS.” Thank you for including me in the book. A warm and truly wonderful book of photographs of people across Canada living with HIV/AIDS. Understanding our connectedness was shown me, having participated in this heart opening experience!

    Thank You to Dini Petty and Randy Guliver for their caring and many kindnesses. I wrote and they were touched, inviting me to be a guest on The Dini Petty Show for "WORLD AIDS DAY" December 1st. 1994. Going public on national television, voicing I was HIV+, allowed me to finally let go of the fear and hiding; worry of people finding out I was HIV infected. This experience catapulted me yet again; in the way of LOVE.

    Thank You to everyone involved with Balderdash, a play inspired by the FULL CIRCLE Project , A Youth Prevention & Sexuality Education Initiatve. "On stage we honour the stories, the people and especially Bradford McIntyre, who "is living positively with HIV." Lidia D'Angelo, Director
Thank you to Director/Principal Investigator - Josephine MacIntosh, Director - Lidia D'Angelo, Sound Tech - Dan Fehr, Videographer - Dan Rubin and all of the Cast: Ashley Dryburgh, Liz Dunsmore, Aubrie Karangianis, Dane Loucks, Katherine Mackey, Ryan Morley, Jen Quinn, Dave Stanfield, Tabetha Telford, and Tony Yip.

    Thank You Lois Brassart.......in sickness and in health, relationship married in friendship. At my bedside when my heart stopped and near death experience, Lois like no other has witnessed and understands my faith. Lois, she herself is truly a bright shining star.

    Thank You to my Loving family. To my mother Olga McIntyre, whose love, zest for life, as well as sense of humour I carry. To my father Percy McIntyre, who taught me the meaning and importance of forgiveness! My parents and my Gramma and Grampa's love, was the foundation for which I learned unconditional LOVE! To my loving sister Heather Uksik, loving brothers Paul McIntyre and Greg McIntyre - aka. Silver Elvis who feed my spirit with the spiritual food of life, Sisterhood/Brotherhood, I love you with all my heart! Thank you to my nephew Trevor Uksik for building this website. I remember in 1985, going to one of Trevor's computer classes when he was only five years old. The same year I was told that I had six months to live; I never thought I would see Trevor grow up, but I have! And so much more!

    Thank You to Deni Daviau. We met on the Internet, in an International spirituality chat room but it turned out we lived only five blocks away from each other! You are my best friend, my spouse and my soul mate. Never have I felt so loved. I am grateful and feel very blessed to have lived and shared all that we are and I pray we can continue for many more years to come!

    Thank You to: Dr. Michael Garbol, Dr. Ole Hammerberg, Dr. Kelly McGinnis, Dr. Roland Leger, Dr. Denis M. Conway, Dr. Iain Mackie, Dr. Robert Keyes, Dr. Alastair McLeod,
Dr. Joss De Wet, Dr. Lawrence S. Halparin, Dr. K. Stothers, Dr. Stephen A. Sharp,
Dr. Sean-Peter Sikorski, Dr. Langston Raymond, Dr. Bin K. Lim, Dr. Aaron Christopher Hoo N.D, Dr. Peter Velthuis, Dr. Alastair Carruthers and Dr. Jean Carruthers, Dr. Robert Reynolds, Dr. Brian Conway, Dr. David Hall, Dr. Julio Montaner, Dr. Silvia Guillemi, Dr. Tony Vincent Wong, Dr. Mona Loutfy and the nurses and healthcare professionals, who have all contributed to my wellness!

     I don't take a moment for granted and I give thanks many times each and every day. Everyone I knew infected with HIV, in and around the same time I found out I was infected; they are all gone! And many more since! But not forgotten, I carry each and everyone of them with me in my heart always and they are my ANGELS watching over me.

     As I reflect over these years living with HIV, my thoughts are always directed towards the many people I love. The people in my life and all our caring and sharing for one another; has filled these years with endless affirmations that life is about LOVE.

    Miracle after Miracle was shown me; what many years ago was an agonizing life of fear, has been turned around to one filled with such Joy and Love. I am very grateful to everyone in my life!

Light and Love


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