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THE KEEPER
OF THE ZOO
Bradford McIntyre Positively Positive Living with HIV/AIDS

THE KEEPER OF THE ZOO
NOTES ON A JOURNEY
By Cecil Wallace

( Download PDF. Version )


THE KEEPER
OF
THE Z00

NOTES ON A JOURNEY

by Cecil Wallace

November 1993

Edited by Bradford McIntyre
Cecil Cowan Wallace
Photo: Cecil Cowan Wallace


NOTES OF CECIL WALLACE

CHRISTMAS IS COMING 1990

My partner and I had been looking forward to our second Christmas together. We were happy! What could go wrong, when everything in our life was going so well? Around November, I got sick. We could not understand why I was so sick all of a sudden.

We were living in our apartment on Woolwich Street and it was nice to have our own spot. We were both working at the Baker Street Bistro. We were in the process of buying the restaurant, as that was both our life goals. David Roughfy, my dear friend was going to give us a loan to start our very own restaurant. This was what I wanted and worked for thirteen years to gain. Our life was complete and happy.

I am writing these notes in September, 1993. I just got up to open the window because there are spirits knocking outside and they want to come in, so I opened the window to allow them in. It feels wonderful, being guided strongly today.

CHRISTMAS HAS COME 1990

I decided to go to the doctor’s to see what was going on with my health. I had to take time out from work because I was so sick. What could it be? Date: December 13, 1990.

I went to see Doctor Pinksen, AIDS test; you want me to get an AIDS test? I don't feel there is any reason for me to get an AIDS test. I must have the flu. I decided to have the test. Now, I have to go home and tell my partner and we have to wait seven days for the results. My partner gave me lots of support. At least, they did not tell me to relax because how the hell are you going to sleep or even relax, while you are waiting for the results?

I tried to put the idea out of my mind, but it hung there thick and heavy. “An AIDS test?” This only happens to people, who are single and not in love. I was in Love.

I spoke to some people in Kitchener today.

Did you hear the news? Brad has AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome). Wow! I almost fell to the ground. My last partner, Brad, who I met in 1985 and lived with for a year and a half has AIDS. What is this! All of a sudden, the word AIDS has consumed my life. I cried a lot and then the “fear”. Oh my God, I think I have AIDS. I must run, no, because where could I run to and for what. My AIDS test is not back yet. Wow! Brad has AIDS.

I told my partner, my seven days are up. Feeling better and back to work! Must make a phone call to Dr. Pinksen… I made the phone call in my office at the restaurant.

“Yes, Mr. Wallace?”

“Is my test back?”

“No it has not come in as of yet. We will call you when it comes in.”

Relief… work is very busy. I got lost in my work, l loved my work. On December 23, 1990 the phone rang at work, Dr. Pinksen’s office.

“Cecil, you must come over to the office this afternoon.”

The dining room was full of people. “I can’t leave now, it is lunch time.”

“Ok then, come over to the office this afternoon.”

The dining room was full of laughter and cheer. It was Christmas party time. After I helped the staff clean up after lunch and get ready for dinner service, I went over to the doctor’s office, only a block away. What a long walk, seemed like forever. I went into the doctor’s office. Now, the door opened and in came the doctor.


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