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THE KEEPER
OF THE ZOO
Bradford McIntyre Positively Positive Living with HIV/AIDS

THE KEEPER
OF
THE Z00

NOTES ON A JOURNEY

by Cecil Wallace


November 1993



DEATH AND NEW LIFE

I don’t understand how some people deal with death. Most people just do not deal with the whole matter at all. They don’t think it will happen to them. When you talk to people about death and dying, they get very uncomfortable because they are scared of the unknown. It has been clear to me that you need to face the matter straight on in order to be at peace with yourself. It is only a matter of passing over to join the  spirits, who guide you to pass over. It will be a wonderful experience.

I must admit that when I first found out I was dying, I was afraid. At first, I denied the fact that it would happen. There came a point, when denial stopped and I wanted to work on a peaceful path to pass over with the spirits. This path has been paved for me in my dreams. I just wish that people who are in a similar state would be able to see how it works. When I gave myself over to the guidance of my spirit leaders, I no longer felt alone in this matter.

Even though I can see my body fail on a daily basis, I draw amazing strength to fight it with everything I can. Mind you, I guess being on $1400.00 a month worth of drugs and painkillers also helps. Yet, it is amazing that I can take painkillers and still feel pain. It is amazing how much the human body can really take. Not for one second will I let the pain win. I am sure there will come a day, when I have had enough but for now, I plan to keep my chin up and be strong as long as I can.

When it is time for me to pass over, I will go peacefully knowing I fought the good fight with all my strength that my body and soul had. The message is clear and that is why I am still here to tell it. If you have support from your friends and loved ones, you can draw on their love, which makes you feel needed and wanted. People close to you encourage you to fight longer. There is power in numbers.




...positive attitudes are not simply 'moods'

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